none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
