Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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