i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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