Only a mothe r could love this liver
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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