all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
