You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
