Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
