Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
