dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
