I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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