i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
