I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
