Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
