shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
