i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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