To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
