I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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