You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
