hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
