I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
