The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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