he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You're like the curious george of whores
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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