You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
