Please, let me fuck your mom
I seem to have left my pride at pride
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
