you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
