I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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