dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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