Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
