i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
