I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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