Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
