my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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