we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
