So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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