you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
