i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
