yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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