so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
