I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
