does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
