I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
