ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
