YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
