Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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