Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
