Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
