My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
