i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who died my cat blue again?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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