Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
