What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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