omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This baby is an asshole
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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