One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You left your phone here
Wait...
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