What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
