it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
