Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
