The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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