Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
