Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
